The LDS Church announces plan to open Mormon-themed restaurants.
Rumor has it that there is an idea floating around out there for a chain of non-pretentious Mormon-themed restaurants called The Steak Center (Where There's Never a Dry, Boring Meat-ing!)
Each Steak Center will have one enormous dining area with basketball hoops at either end and folding metal chairs and long tables covered in plastic tablecloths.
The Steak Centers will not have hostesses, but greeters. Men in their 70's will meet you at the door and talk like they have known you all your life.
The main menu items will be:
Porterhouse Rockwell Steak
Primary Rib
Poor Wayfaring Pan of Beef
Parsley P. Pratt Funeral Potatoes
When it's in season: Eliza R. Snow crab.
A whole line of "And It Came to Pasta", including Kraft MacaMoroni and Cheese.
Additionally, they'll have breakfast items:
Pearls of Great Rice
Frosted Minivans
Adam-ondi-Omelettes
"In Our Lovely Desserts"
Fast sundaes
Gadianton cobbler
Sinful Laman Meringue Pie
The waiters will be 12- and 13-year-old boys wearing white shirts and their fathers' ties.
At the end of the night the customers will be asked to help fold up the chairs and tables and vacuum the floor.
Franchises are selling faster than Sunbeams on Skittles! Get yours while they last!
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